This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” – and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.
This guy…
Was this boy…
8 years ago!!!
But wait… hmm…
HEY…
Does little boy Jo Kwon look like someone you and I both know???
HAHA OMG.
I’ve been listening to BEG (Brown Eyed Girls) since the Abracadabra days and have been especially smitten by Ga-in and Narsha for their adorable personalities and pretty vocals…
THEN, I recently got introduced to 2AM and have been hooooked since – JO KWON IS SOOOO CUTE!
I know im wayyy past the boyband/girlband age but omg not only they have powerful ballad vocals, KWONNIE is a super duper dance machine! And he’s so unbelievably lovable too. *SCREAMS!*
Haha Kwonnie and Ga-in have been doing this reality show called “we got married” and i’ve had alot of fun watching them “get married” and “leading a married life”… Just so darn cute and funny. I realllly love them! haha
Here’s a snippet of their first “chocolate kiss” :)
And a vid of Ga-In trying to recognise Kwonnie’s voice from a whole studio of imposters!
AND this is one of my favourites, where Kwonnie fights for his girl in a singing duel.
I wish gordon would do silly sweet things like these once in a while. :b
And last but not least for today… Another one of my favouritest!!!
Backhug and their 2nd chocolate kiss :D
I love how Ga-in dodged around at the back while on a mission, and pounced onto Kwonnie with a vengeance. Haha… See how bashful they are!
AHHHH Ga-in and Kwonnie are SOOOO CUTE HELP!!!
Drawn by a Taiwanese.. haha cute! :)
(Click to enlarge)
That’s all i can contribute this World Cup season – cos i dont follow soccer. Haha :b
Its back to work tomorrow and the new audit cycle is starting…
Pray that another door will open so that I can close this one! :)
By the Oatmeal. Funny but not 100% true!
Just for laughs only. :)
OWWW! I’m quite often the crusher. :b
Not 100% agreeing with this thing, only some, but these comics are just so cute and funny! (at least when i first saw them) Haha :) Enjoy!
I especially like the quiz taker and filterless. hahaha!
In Singapore , the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), and most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP). Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB). If that’s not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD)and get more from you.
So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?
With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to
Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA),Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB). And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH), You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF)fund. If you are out of luck, y ou may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you, and you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).
To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE). If that doesn’t help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP)on the roads. If you don’t own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT), OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).
Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!!!
Go watch it if you havent :)
Loved the cast.
Loved the relevance.
Loved the songs.
Liked the jokes.
Liked the plot.
And adored the characters depicted in Sing Dollar!
The boyfriend and I watched Sing Dollar this evening at the esplanade. We sat at Circle 3 but still had a very good view of the entire act! Cheap some more, only S$38. :) Although we were quite a distance up from the stage our view was unobstructed – to our surprise we didnt have bend over at all… hee. The cast was truly star studded with our very own selena, emma, pam oei… (aka dim sum dollies), hossan, kumar and najip ali. They acted out their characters very endearingly singaporean and we could totally connect with it. The drinks stall aunty, the bangla worker, the filipino maid, the malay cleaner.. haha. I cant help but smile just thinking about them now! My fave was the bangla starring kumar though, he was absolutely hilarious.
Highly recommended!
Before that, you could drop by glutton’s bay (aka the tourist trap) to have a good old singaporeanish dinner – quite apt for the show! Well… the food there is definitely overpriced, but its a convenient place that all the local fried fare are congregated together – so thats mainly the reason why we dont mind dining there. :) Anyways we had Chicken wings (S$1.30 per wing), Satay (S$7 for 10 sticks.. omg i know, super ex), Char kway teow (S$4) & Carrot cake (S$4)! If you’re a fan of fruit juices, try the green apple + celery @ S$2.70 – i bought that today and felt it was pretty helpful to counter the heaty-ness of all those unhealthy stuff we ate!
Back to work tomorrow so gotta sleep now.
Goonight ya’all! :)
ahhh i think my maternal instincts are kicking in. I want a couple of little boys! haha
And then theres the commercial for a local brand milk…
hahaha!
Compare it with this korean commercial also pertaining to a BOTTLED DRINK…
FEATURING TWO OF KOREA’S HOTTEST STARS.
…
Do u know what its trying to say?
Its nice la… but… Im abit lost.
Haha! Its my 姑姑！
She’s next to 阿姐 somemore!
Famous liao lor!
OUTRAGEOUS is in fashion now.
-_-”
junnebug loves:
GOLDEN gladiator sandals please! :)
And MAYBE…
Or not.
Ok these are cute.
As toys.
Or tools for photography.
Looks like someone fractured his ankle.
No?
Ah, if you cant help thinking it, just keep this in your head?
Try?
Haha.
The fashion industry is getting interesting indeed.
Make sure your sound is turned on!
[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl6RJyZdBSU]
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS
WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay
Haha!
Hope you’re smiling now – the WEEKEND is here! :D
COURTESY OF NORMAN SIN – AKA DT GFSI’s very own SHREK.
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don’t get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It’s her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly & resort to baggy jeans & baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)
ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION
She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You try to divert her attention by throwing a slipper into the air (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
*roflmao*
*CRUNCH*
Ive been bingeing!!!!
Two weekends in a row i’ve gone and queued for donut factory. Bought them by the dozens and stuffed my face. If thats not enough, i was also enticed by the 2 for $xx ben & jerrys promotion – and got myself tubs of my all-time fave, brownie chunks and chunky monkey. GRAH.
Here comes the guilt.
Was pretty happy with my accomplishment of the keep-fit regime the past 2 weeks. Been jogging for at least 40mins to 1hr each time i get onto the treadmill, and i know that my stamina’s improving. But i haven gym-ed for the past 5 days and at the rate i’ve been stuffing myself, im gonna gain back the fats ive lost in no time.
Sucks when you grow fat by default.
Bwah.
So tonight after walloping 3 donuts (albeit 2 were shared with the boy), i had a crazy urge for a spoonful of Chunky Monkey – which ended up more like 10 spoonfuls.
Appalled, i released myself from the grasps of the evil Chunky Monkey and abandoned my ice cream ladle.
Minutes passed.
My half tub of Chunky Monkey slowly melted into a disgusting puddle of goo.
O.m.g.
That was what it’d be if it goes into my tummy… into my system.. and finally.. settle to become “ugly dimples” – better known as the cellulite. Ew.
But yay.
Until the next time im stoopid enough to waste $20 on ben&jerrys pints…
VICTORY.
Super cute baby dozing off.
Somehow he isnt able to stay still and sleep properly!
Damn funny and soooo adorable!! :D
I heart little babies! :)
For people in need of some comic relief :D
Q: Why do farts make noise?
The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks. You can see proof of this in the video footage of Carl Plant’s fart on (censored)
Q: Is it true that some people never Fart?
No, not if they’re alive. People even fart shortly after death.
Q: Do even movie stars fart?
Yes of cos. So do grandmothers, priests, kings, presidents, opera singers, and nuns. Even yoda farts. See britney spears music video: “oops, i farted again”
Q: Do men fart more than women?
No, women fart just as much as men. Its just that most men take more pride in it than most woman (hell yea) There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender. If men do fart more than women, women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.
Q: How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If u should be caught without ur fartypants, another ploy will be to blame the dog or cat. As for the sound… if u are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to u, as if u tink he/she did it (like what my mom does). Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving ur chair so tt pl think they misheard the fart.
Q: Is it normal for dogs to like the smell of farts?
Yes, any odor we find disgusting smells delicious to a dog. Dogs respond to the smell of farts, rotting fish and meat the same way we respond to the smell of bacon frying or cookies baking. A dog will often sniff the butt of the farter in order to inhale as much of the odor as possible.
I have heard only one story about a dog being disconcerted by a fart. According to a friend, her bro once delivered a fart so evil it made the dog sneeze, shake his head and paw at his nose. That was either an unusual fart or an unusual dog.
Q: Do turtles fart?
Yes, turtles do fart, and their farts smell incedibly bad, as do the farts of snakes. In fact, based on personal experiences with reptiles and not on formal research, many reptiles use farts as a weapon.The sonoran coral snake and western hook-nosed snake fart with an audible popping sound when disturbed.
Q: What kind of animal has the highest worldwide output of flatus?
Believe it or not, the animal tt wins the honor is the humble termite. Becos of their diet and digestive provess, they produce as much methane as the human industry. Termite farts are believed to be a major contributor towards global warming!
Q: Can farting be considered sexy?
Everything imaginable, and many things unimaginable, can be considered sexy by humans. However, the female southern pine beetle exudes a pheromone called frontalin in her flatus tt not only serves to attract males but acts as a general gathering call to her species. Her farts are an invitation to an orgy. Unfortunately for her, her frontalin-laden farts also attract predators.
:)
Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting! This is a cool thing check it out.
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
人＝吃饭＋睡觉＋上班＋玩
猪＝吃饭＋睡觉
代入：人＝猪＋上班＋玩
即：人－玩＝猪＋上班
结论：不懂玩的人＝会上班的猪 男人＝吃饭＋睡觉＋挣钱
猪＝吃饭＋睡觉
男人＝猪＋挣钱
猪＝男人－挣钱
结论：男人不挣钱等于猪
女人＝吃饭＋睡觉＋花钱
猪＝吃饭＋睡觉
代入上面公式得：女人＝猪＋花钱
即：女人－花钱＝猪
结论：女人不花钱的都是猪
综合以上：
男人为了让女人不变成猪而挣钱
女人为了让男人不变成猪而花钱
男人＋女人＝猪＋挣钱＋猪＋花钱＝两头猪
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