The dust has settled on the most happening event of my life thus far.. and I, am in turn settling into the Life of being a wife (quoted from a friend, shu-en).

Feels surreal. But I’m actually a Missus now!

Wow.

Facebook has taken over everything else by storm. Friendster & MSN messengers are now things of the past.  Twitter is trying very hard to make its mark. And Blogs are so last century.

Or are they?

Dont worry.

With God’s mercy and grace.

We’re gonna get through this.

I cant buy something “just because”
I cant do something “just because”
There is zero tolerance for frivolosity
I dont know if i can make it “clutter-free” with all the legacy stuff we have

I am so tired thinking of practical reasons to explain my wants.
Sometimes I just cant.
I am speechless when i have to think of valid reasons to refute your practical ones.
Sometimes I just cant.
At times I feel like declaring
Can I please just have this xxx cm by xxxcm
Let me do whatever I want with it
You can take the rest and do your practical thing
Although its not like what I want is totally stupid and mindless.

We are so different it rips me apart at times like this.
Im screaming and strangled from the inside
Its forcing the tears out of my eyes.

This comes as a reckoning everytime we are out hunting for our renovation stuff.

He ALWAYS looks out for the practicality.
I ALWAYS look out for the design and feel.
SO, we almost ALWAYS fight over the choices we make.

Its tiring.

But at the end of the day someone has got to give. Either one of us.
And I really thank God we dont end up hating each other everytime this happens.

Sigh.

So the renovation has begun and is progressing mighty fast. The walls and tiles are all hacked and ready to be re-tiled. We just confirmed our floor tiles for kitchen and toilet with Sean the ID yesterday, so this should all be set next week. Today, we drove down to macpherson to get our basins and toilet bowls from Hoe Kee, at a very good price me thinks.

Still outstanding: Kitchen sink and tap, Hood and Hob, Storage heater, and toilet accessories.
Then we also need to sit down and discuss the detailing with Sean SOON.

Thank God, that in a week i’ll be much more free to do the planning together with Gordon.

I. Just. Cant. Wait.  :)

Haha. This is Funny.

Next objective, get fit!

Cant wait cant wait cant wait.

In other news, we farewelled the old AMK house today. We took all the before photos, pranced through the house one last time. And then, we locked the gate, and excitedly anticipated what is to come.

Tomorrow, the hacking begins.

We were both exhausted from work and other commitments, but the excitement kept us going. We went hunting for sanitaries, and ended up getting a bedframe and our dining table with 6 chairs! All the hardearned money is flying out real fast. But I do hope its all for a good cause. Our new house had better be gorgeous with the amount of “blood sweat” money pumped into it! :)

After this week quarter end should be more or less over, and i will be handing over the horrific book back to athit, who is my predecessor of this book. He is technically crazy strong and he’s got the willpower of a mammoth, so im sure he will be able to manage this book very well, even though he also hates it. I feel apologetic that i cant relief him of this shitty book anymore, but i just cant continue doing it. It stresses me out max every single day until im drained of all life just processing the daily issues. Im not even learning anything useful from it. Its time to get a life.

Tomorrow the new joiner will be coming in to join the team from hell. I wish him all the best. But perhaps he also has the perseverance, the adaptibility and brains of athit. Then he will probably be able to keep afloat. I sure hope he does.

For the next 2 weeks at work though, my daily routine will be as follows:

1) Get out of bed
2) Survive
3) Get back to bed

Over and out!

A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29)

A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32).

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered (Proverbs 17:27).

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control (Proverbs 25:28).

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins (Proverbs 29:22).

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:29-32).

Let your gentleness be evident to all (Philippians 4:5).

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Colossians 3:8).

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:19-20).

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9).

Developed from the negatives.

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.” -Julia Cameron

Ok. I dont think im doing what im meant to do. Because im not liking it.

Concussed from fatigue, i only awoke at 11am and my family went down to duxton where most of my relatives already gathered. It was great to see most of my extended family there.. and i realised how important it is that we come together at least once every CNY to see how everyone is doing.

If i had to even work on CNY day, i would probably quit my job without hestitation. Its ridonkulous and unheard of. You know people in China have 15 days of holiday? Although i gotta go back to work tomorrow and my dad totally cant believe his ears when i told him. He said… “这是什么鬼工作来的？！”… which rang familiar in my ears. The last time i heard him saying that was when i came home at 4+am many days in a row. And there was this strange sense of foreboding again…Heh. Well. Maybe I wont be staying in this job for long.

It dawned upon me this morning – that this is my last CNY as an ang pow recipient!!!

//cues loud music of reckoning.

So sad but yet so exciting.

This time next year, I will be a full fledged, ang pow distributing married woman!

Haha. Makes me sound old.

We visited 2 places today, but most of the fun was at xiaojiu’s at duxton. I played with the 2 baby nieces charlene and enting, who are born a month apart, and whos parents are from the same family. I met kezheng and the 2 pairs of twin brothers, who are already all grown up and studying in uni now. I met 蓝眼睛表舅’s 3 dotters, elouise, luanne, leanne (what exotic names) for the 1st time. Witnessed the uncle finishing up 1 whole bottle of red wine by himself and got abit drunk (erm). And well just enjoyed the company of everyone of some kinda blood relation.

After rounds and rounds of pineapple tarts and bakkwas, its finally time to shed some real weight.

Haha.

Help.

There i was thinking that life would be easier after audit.

The only pro i can think of in comparison is that i rarely need to work past midnight. But when i do, its NONSTOP 16 HOURS OF INTENSE WORKING with no flexibility or breather whatsoever in the day. Sometimes, i skip lunch hoping to gain some time – but most of the time it doesnt help much.

Somehow, working long hours running around in audit but with the flexibility of being able to manage my own time is, surprisingly, a lot less intense and stressful than working from 9am-7pm at my desk on a normal day with a compulsory daily deliverable at the end of each day, nazi bosses, and total rigidness in how i can manage my time.

In audit when i felt stressed, braindead, or absolutely stretched – i could just take a 15min breather downstairs, grab a kopi from ya kun, take a fresh wisp of air outside, and then go back to face reality yet again.

Currently when i feel likewise, the best i can do is grab a free milo from the pantry and walk back to my seat as slowly as i can, which takes 3 mins in total. My 2nd option would be heading to the toilet to splash water on my face, or space out on top of the toilet bowl seat. Its quite sad. And smelly. Sometimes.

They said i can go down for a walk whenever i need to, when i feel saturated or stuck. So i tried. But guess what, while i was downstairs i got an sms from my new colleague at work (who’s currently only source of comfort) in less than 5 mins saying – “where are u… xx was asking where u are and yy said v loudly ‘she go home aredi ah? so early!?”… that was like 7pm. Hello actually i thought we were paid to work from 9am-6pm? How is 7pm “so early”? Ok maybe it was month end… but i didnt just disappear for an hour, i just wanted to grab some food to feed the growling tummy and breath some fresh air.

//shakes head.

So nowadays life at work is just all stress and no fun.

Nothing like what i expected.

Nothing like what i had hoped for.

Even less fun than audit can u believe it!

//sigh.

I can only pray for God to grant me strength to carry on, or perhaps, open another path for me to tread on.